“The way things turned out was just perfect!”
Mila looks into the computer’s camera with interest during the interview and makes a cheerful sound.
Lara and Jenny met in 2021 and fulfilled their wish for a child in 2023. Now, they are the first same-sex couple in their community to have had their child baptized in the Catholic Church.
But let’s turn back the clock and start by asking the question:
Why Denmark?
Lara and Jenny initially looked up fertility clinics in Germany online, but none of them felt quite right. In fact, there is even a clinic close to their home.
However, they both agreed that the right connection and atmosphere are essential. So, they happily drove almost 800 kilometers instead of just walking a few meters.
Instead of a complicated process, as they perceived it in Germany, they were surprised at how quickly things moved in Denmark. From the initial consultation on June 8, 2023, it took less than a month before they climbed the stairs of the Diers Klinik on July 5, 2023. They had saved the money, and when it came to the donor, they also quickly reached an agreement. Once again the keyword was connection.
It all came down to feeling the right connection. What felt right to us – from the history – and hair color, eye color, but ultimately, it didn’t really matter to us. The most important thing was the connection.
The storage is already set up and waiting for them when they are ready for a sibling.
13 hours of driving – 8 pit stops – 1 positive pregnancy test
The week before the treatment, Lara and Jenny stayed home. They tested every day, but the ovulation test just wouldn’t turn positive. Then, finally, the long-awaited smiley face! It’s amazing how happy two dots and a curved line can make you.
So, we only slept for half an hour and then drove off – in the middle of the night.
The rain followed them all the way to Denmark. Since only Jenny could drive, they made 8 pit stops during the 13-hour journey. Short 5-minute breaks each time. When they finally arrived: Great relief.
I was super excited… I think you were too, right?
Lara looks over at Jenny, who nods in agreement:
I think the excitement really made me forget everything else.
Afterwards, Lara couldn’t believe that it had really happened. Both felt very comfortable in the clinic. And on the way home?
I of course hoped that it worked. I also kept talking to my belly, saying please, please!
Then everything turned “baby.” A baby snail, a baby shell. Before this, they had also seen a stork at Lara’s father’s place. But one sign in particular meant a lot to Lara. The woman who performed the IUI treatment shares the name of her deceased mother.
On the way back, they booked a hotel in Flensburg to stay overnight. Another 13-hour drive would have been too much. Back home, they couldn’t help but start testing right away. Of course, the tests were negative at first. Later, only a faint line appeared – and in the end they held the positive pregnancy test in their hands. At this point, they could hardly believe it.
The only thing they would do differently next time is not to start testing right away but to wait for the test day. They felt that they had taken away some of the suspense by testing early. Of course, the joy over the positive test couldn’t be taken away, or as Lara aptly put it:
Crazy, you can’t put it into words!
Welcome Mila
The birth went incredibly fast. In hindsight, perhaps a little too fast. But all three are doing well. For Lara and Jenny, it was all worth it.
They also want to gradually tell Mila that she is a donor conceived child. It is very important to them that this is naturally integrated into their parenting. Both are happy that there is now so much information available on the subject. Many books with different stories – they want to use these.
That you just slowly approach it. I saw that on the internet too, there’s already so much information about this. I think that’s great. So, we don’t want to rush things or overwhelm Mila – we just want to gradually incorporate it into parenting,
says Jenny, and Lara adds:
We’ve also printed everything from the clinic – and the donor profile. She can look at all that. So, she understands, oh, this is how it all went.
Transparency and naturalness in the subject with Mila come first.
The first rainbow child in their Catholic church
Something truly special is that Lara and Jenny are the first same-sex couple in their community to have had their child baptized in their Catholic church. This had never happened there before. We cautiously ask if there were any negative comments.
Before, we were really afraid of that, says Jenny, because it’s not really accepted in the church when two women stand there… But I have to say, even though we had fears, they weren’t necessary, because they really welcomed us. Even the pastor, he was really great, he involved me too, and there were no issues at all.
Just two houses away, in the church, the three of them had a completely positive experience. They are relieved and happy that it was the beautiful event it should be.
Otherwise, they haven’t had any bad experiences. They know this is not always guaranteed. Their gynecologist has been consistently positive and has celebrated the whole journey with them. It’s wonderful to hear that it can be so simple.
The next step is the wedding. They initially wanted to marry before Mila was born, but doing it quickly wasn’t the plan. Now they are saving for their dream wedding and are excited that Jenny will then also be able to adopt Mila. And who knows – maybe Mila will take a few careful steps and scatter some flower petals as they walk down the aisle.
“The way things turned out was just perfect!”
At the end, we naturally want to know what advice they would give to others who want to follow the same path. The two quickly agree:
You should stress less!
They send a dose of calm to everyone with a wish for children. We are very happy to hear when they tell us how much they like Diers Klinik, as no distance was too far for them.
The way things turned out was just perfect. We never would have imagined it would go so quickly, and that you would be so open. I mean, in Denmark everything is different, and generally, if anyone were to ask us where they should go to have a child, we would always say to you. That will never change. And like I said, for the second child, we’ll come to you too, because the sympathy is just there, and when you walk into your clinic, it’s so calm, and you immediately feel comfortable,
says Jenny, and Lara adds:
You don’t have that hospital atmosphere or doctor’s feeling – you just feel good and truly welcomed.
If it hadn’t worked immediately, they would have made the journey five times. Because the two say, when you know what you’re doing it for, it’s definitely worth it.
We thank you for the wonderful conversation and kind words. We are so happy to be able to accompany you on your journey. We look forward to the day when we can welcome you back to the clinic for Mila’s sibling. Until then, we wish you all the best! 🍀
Blogpost Diers IUI