Sonja & Stefan – 12 years of unfulfilled desire for a child
Sonja and Stefan have been a couple for nearly 20 years and live near Hamburg. Stefan is 43 years old, and this year Sonja celebrated her 40th birthday. Two months after Sonja’s milestone birthday, the couple was finally able to welcome their little daughter into the world.
The path to fulfilling their wish for a child was, unfortunately, very long and difficult for the couple. In this blog post, they share their story about their journey to parenthood.

Unfulfilled Desire for a Child
Stefan and Sonja have been married for 15 years, and they both knew from the beginning that they wanted children. When Sonja was 28 and Stefan 31, they decided to grow their family.
“We took it slowly and tried for about 2 years. Then we got checked, and it turned out that Stefan, due to an illness as a child, was almost infertile, and the chances of conceiving naturally were very low.”
Contact with the Fertility Clinic
Half a year after receiving this difficult news, the couple had their first appointment at a German fertility clinic.
Unfortunately, their experience at the clinic was not as they had hoped. The couple had to wait several months for their first appointment, and there was a lot of paperwork to fill out beforehand. During the appointment, blood samples were taken, and Stefan underwent further examination by another doctor.
The results of these preliminary tests were to be communicated during their second appointment at the clinic. At the second appointment, Sonja and Stefan received the following message: “You need to lose weight.”
Losing Weight – Easier Said Than Done
Sonja made efforts to lose weight. For years, she tried all sorts of methods and also received support from doctors and nutritionists.
“I did lose weight, but not as much as the clinic required. In the meantime, years went by, and time was running out for us.”
After 5-6 years, the couple scheduled another appointment at the fertility clinic:
“With the hope that the weight loss we had achieved would be enough and that we could finally try. But we were turned away again.
We were so sad and desperate that we weren’t even allowed to try, so we decided to put an end to our wish for a child.”
Insemination Despite Being Overweight
Sonja’s doctor noticed how much Sonja and Stefan were suffering from their unfulfilled desire for a child and encouraged them to look for alternatives on the internet. That’s when Sonja came across Diers Fertility Clinic.
“The idea of fulfilling our wish for a child with a sperm donor had already been considered a few years ago. Through the information on Diers’ website, we learned that it’s possible to have an insemination with a donor despite being overweight.”
Stefan and Sonja reviewed the website and took a week to think it over before Stefan filled out a contact form. Shortly after, the couple had their initial consultation with our clinic, which was conducted over the phone.
“The first phone call with the clinic was great. All of our questions were answered, and we immediately felt well taken care of. Of course, we were worried that the issue of weight would lead to a rejection here as well, but our concerns were addressed in a kind, understanding, and friendly manner.”
Right after the consult, Sonja and Stefan bought the necessary ovulation tests at a drugstore and were simply happy that they now had a chance:
“We had hope again and were also a bit excited.”
Choosing a Donor
Choosing a donor was not an easy task for Sonja and Stefan at first.
“We first had to decide whether we wanted an open or closed donor. We researched a lot, talked about it, and then decided on an open donor, so the child would have the option to find out more about the donor later in life.”
The criteria for their final choice were not many. The most important factor for them was height, as both Sonja and Stefan are quite tall. Therefore, one criterion was that the donor should be at least 185 cm tall.
Since both also have green eyes, Stefan and Sonja thought it would be nice to find a donor with green eyes, although they were well aware that this did not guarantee that the child would inherit green eyes.
“The most important thing for us was probably the small personal message that the donor wrote for the child.”
The IUI Treatment
The first trip to Aarhus took place in June 2023. Unfortunately, Stefan could not be there that day, so Sonja traveled with her mother. On that day, Sonja was very nervous and excited, which is completely understandable. Finally, the process was starting.
“We left in the morning and had about a 4-hour drive ahead of us. The additional information about parking that we received from Diers beforehand was very helpful. We were warmly welcomed at the clinic, and I waited less than 5 minutes before I was taken to the treatment room.”
The couple didn’t find the treatment stressful or difficult. The hardest part was definitely the waiting period after the IUI treatment:
“The 14 days until we could take a pregnancy test were probably the most challenging.”
A Positive Test After 12 Years
In the summer of 2023, Sonja and Stefan underwent a total of 3 IUI attempts in Aarhus, and as the saying goes, the third time was the charm. The pregnancy test was positive 14 days after the third treatment. Sonja says:
“I couldn’t believe it at first. I took the first test 14 days after the third treatment in the morning. However, the second line on the pregnancy test was barely visible.”
That same morning, Sonja went to her sister, and on the way, she bought 2 more tests:
“When I took the second test at my sister’s house, and it was clearly positive, my sister immediately started crying with joy.
For me, it took a few minutes before I could fully realize it. After almost 12 years, I held a positive pregnancy test in my hand.”

The pregnancy went smoothly. Sonja experienced some evening nausea and water retention in the last few weeks, but otherwise, she had no issues. Yet she remained nervous:
“Throughout the entire pregnancy, we were worried that something might happen. Especially in the first few months, although Stefan was much more positive and kept saying everything would be fine.”
And luckily, Stefan was right. Their daughter was born right on time in the 40th week of pregnancy, and she was completely healthy and just perfect from the start.
“We are grateful every single day and overwhelmingly happy to have her.”
Get Informed!
When we asked Sonja and Stefan what advice they would like to give to others, they were both clear:
“We can only advise other women, whether single or in a partnership, to find out what options are available and not to get discouraged too quickly.
We wish we had known earlier about Diers Fertility Clinic and the possibility that was available to us. Almost 12 years with an unfulfilled desire for a child is a long time.”
Now that they have their daughter with them, they often think about how simple it turned out to be in hindsight:
“A very friendly phone call, a total of 3 trips to Aarhus, no medication or hormones, no complications, and now we are three. For us, listening to our gut feeling was the right decision.
We are very grateful to Diers.”
Dear Sonja and Stefan – we at Diers are also very grateful to you. Grateful that we could be a part of your journey and grateful that we are allowed to share your story. You are wonderful people, and we wish you and your little sunshine all the best in the world.
Blog post written by Line, Fertility Coordinator at Diers IUI