Let’s celebrate all Rainbow Families!
On pride month, we pay tribute to all family constellations and celebrate diversity. We are just so happy that it has gradually become much more normal for gay couples to have children together. We are also delighted that their family form is getting accepted in the same way as the more traditional “Mother, Father and children” constellation.
Because, as we have known for many years, children are completely indifferent to the gender of the parents, as long as they are loved. And we know they are.
Here at the clinic, we meet many lesbian couples who fulfil their desire for a child. We have often asked these women what considerations they have made regarding what the future child should call them. Is it just mom and mom?
Considerations for LGBT couples before pregnancy
Our colleague Bodil told us about her considarations when she and her partner, Rikke, started treatment. They were both very much concerned with what Bodil, as a co-mother, should be called by their future child.
It was clear to the couple that Rikke, who was the one who was to be pregnant and give birth to the child, should be called “Mother”. However, it was important to the couple that their future child should not just call her “Bodil”. As a co-mother, Bodil also wanted a nickname. They thought that “Bodil” would be too impersonal.
Many proposals and scenarios came up, but the couple ended up with the decision they wanted to be “Mother and Mami”. “Mami” felt right to them. At the same time, they were also open to the fact that their child might come up with another nickname. However, this was never relevant, and Bodil has been “Mami” to their son ever since.
Mother and Mother?
We know from the same-sex couples we treat here at the clinic that they also think a lot about what they want to be called when their child is born. Some women choose a similar solution that Bodil and Rikke chose. Others choose that both mothers should be called mother or mom – perhaps with an addition of their name.
This version was chosen by Liza, the founder of Diers Klinik, and her partner Lise. Together have three donor children. Their children call them both mother, but when both are present, a distinction is made between “Mor Lise” and just “Mor”.
Both are equally mothers
There is one thing that certainly repeats itself with the LGBT couples, we know and talk to here at the clinic. It is the importance of the co-mother getting a name that clearly shows that both mothers are equal parents.
A survey, we made on Instagram, clearly shows that the most frequent choice among our German customers is “Mama” and “Mami”. Many Danish couples have also adopted the slightly German sounding “Mami” and use this.
For English speaking couples “Mum” and “Mummy” is the obvious choice. “Mutti” is also a nickname that is repeated by several of our German and Danish customers. Others play more with the words and maybe the parents’ names – some have names that their children came up with themselves. In this category we have received answers such as “Mama and Mima” or “Mama and Mimi”.