Alena and Hilde’s journey to parenthood

Diers baby on beach

Alena and Hilde’s journey to parenthood

Alena and Hilde have been together since 2020. Early on, they realised they both wanted to start a family, and they began exploring their options as a lesbian couple.

We had the opportunity to speak with them, and in this blog post, we share how they found their way to Diers Klinik and their experience with fertility treatment.

Their daughter is now one year old, and she’s soon to become a big sister!

When it feels right

Alena, 32, and Hilde, 30, are from Münster, Germany. They met during their studies, although Hilde can’t quite recall meeting Alena as far back as 2014—when Alena first noticed her!

They began working together in 2019, and when the COVID-19 pandemic hit in 2020, it felt only natural for the two to spend most of their time together.

Their friendship blossomed into something more, and by 2022, they decided to get married.

Alena and Hilde and their daughter

The desire for children and treatment options

The desire to start a family was something they discussed early on. Both Alena and Hilde wanted children, with Alena especially keen to experience pregnancy. They began researching their options and requested information from a German fertility clinic. However, they quickly learned about the bureaucratic hurdles facing same-sex couples—requirements that heterosexual couples don’t have to meet.

Alena explains:

“When we saw the list of requirements—psychological evaluations, legal paperwork—it became clear this wasn’t for us. We didn’t feel we needed to prove ourselves as a couple.”

They ruled out German clinics, where the process was also more expensive compared to Denmark.

Considering a private donor

Before reaching out to Diers Klinik, Alena and Hilde considered using a private donor. Hilde’s brother had kindly offered to donate sperm for a home insemination, meaning Hilde’s genes could also be part of their child. He even underwent medical checks to ensure he was a suitable donor. However, as they got closer to going ahead with this plan, it just didn’t feel right.

Alena recalls:

“I kept putting it off—this month isn’t quite right, maybe next month… until I realised this path just wasn’t for us.”

Hilde fully understood:

“Alena was always going to be the one carrying the baby, so she had the final say. She needed to feel comfortable with how we did it.”

Finding Diers Klinik

It was actually Alena’s sister who first mentioned Diers Klinik to them. She had come across the clinic and suggested Alena and Hilde look into it. After checking out the website, Alena felt confident and booked an initial consultation for the following week—without telling Hilde first!

“I got such a good feeling from the website, and I thought there was no harm in having a chat,” Alena says.

Of course, Hilde was in the loop before the consultation, which took place in December 2022. After their consultation, the couple had a strong sense they’d found the right place.

“The fact that we were a same-sex couple wasn’t even an issue. That’s what made all the difference for us.”

From consultation to treatment

Following the initial consultation, they were certain they wanted to continue their treatment in Aarhus. The timing worked out perfectly—Alena’s ovulation was expected about two weeks later, and they had already planned some time off over Christmas and New Year’s.

On a whim, they decided to spend the holiday in Denmark and start treatment straight away. It was their first visit to Denmark, and Aarhus quickly became special to them. However, the holiday wasn’t without a little stress. Alena anxiously awaited a positive ovulation test, taking far more than the recommended two tests per day!

“When the test didn’t turn positive as expected, I started to get a bit stressed, and the holiday wasn’t as relaxing as we’d hoped,” Alena admits.

By New Year’s Eve, they had to leave their holiday rental, so they decided to have an ultrasound at the clinic to ensure they hadn’t missed the ovulation.

Thankfully, the ultrasound showed everything was fine, although the follicle wasn’t quite ready yet. They moved into a hotel, hoping the ovulation test would soon show the result they were waiting for.

Their patience paid off. Later that evening, while watching Queen Margrethe’s New Year’s speech, the test finally turned positive. Excited, they celebrated the new year in Aarhus with fireworks lighting up the sky.

Positive ovulation tests

Treatment on New Year’s Day

On 1 January, at 10 am, while the rest of Aarhus was still asleep, Alena and Hilde headed back to the clinic for the insemination with their chosen donor. They were nervous, but the procedure went smoothly, despite being a bit uncomfortable for Alena.

“We were pleasantly surprised by how welcoming the clinic felt. We expected a more clinical atmosphere, but it was much cosier than visiting a doctor’s surgery. We didn’t feel like we were at the doctor’s at all.”

The two-week wait for the pregnancy test felt long, with Alena convinced it hadn’t worked. However, both Hilde and Alena’s sister suspected otherwise, as Alena had been feeling more tired and queasy than usual.

Positive pregnancy tests

The pregnancy test

The official test day was set for 15 January, but just nine days after the IUI, Alena and Hilde couldn’t wait any longer. Alena took a test, and although the second line was faint, it was there.

This led Alena to buy every pregnancy test in sight—over the following days, she took 39 tests, all showing the same result: positive.

Less than a month after their initial consultation, Alena was pregnant. Reflecting on the experience, she says:

“It was so exciting, and I couldn’t quite believe it. But seeing the baby on the ultrasound made it real.”

Their daughter was born on 18 September 2023 and recently celebrated her first birthday.

Happy lesbian couple with positive pregnancy tests

Planning for a sibling

Alena and Hilde always knew they wanted more than one child. During Alena’s pregnancy, they decided to set up a sibling deposit so they could use the same donor in the future.

In the summer of 2024, they returned to Aarhus to try for their second child. After a morning ultrasound confirmed the timing was right, they opted for an afternoon insemination. After spending a rainy day exploring Aarhus, they returned to the clinic with their daughter in tow for the treatment. Fortunately, this time, the procedure wasn’t as uncomfortable for Alena, and everything just felt right.

“We didn’t put any pressure on ourselves, even on the way back. We ended up staying the night in Hamburg on a whim before heading home.”

Their gut feeling was spot on, and two weeks later, they were delighted to see another positive pregnancy test.

Advice for others considering Denmark

Alena and Hilde want to encourage others to consider fertility treatment abroad.

“There’s sometimes a misconception that choosing fertility treatment abroad is not the ‘proper’ way, but it absolutely is. We’re so happy we found you by chance. It was such a relaxed experience, and communication was easy. We’d never choose any other way.”

[row_inner_3] [col_inner_3 span=”6″ span__sm=”12″]
Lesbian couple with their baby
[/col_inner_3] [col_inner_3 span=”6″ span__sm=”12″]

Alena also recommends making sure you have a supportive gynaecologist before starting treatment:

“Unfortunately, not all gynaecologists are supportive, and we found that out the hard way. My previous gynaecologist refused to help, claiming she’d only get involved after I was pregnant. I switched to a wonderful gynaecologist who was excited for us and supported us throughout the process.”

[/col_inner_3] [/row_inner_3]

So, we pass on their advice: ask your gynaecologist early on whether they’ll support you if you’re considering fertility treatment abroad.

Thank you, Alena and Hilde, for sharing your story and for placing your trust in us. We wish you all the best with your pregnancy and can’t wait to hear from you when your little one arrives!